| Saturday, November 10th, 2001 |
| 8:39 pm |
more
I?ll give you more then the garden of Eden I?ll carelessly cut you then laugh whale your bleeding! |
| Friday, November 2nd, 2001 |
| 1:42 am |
starved
It?s been a long time since I can remember it?s been a long time since I want to remember and you expect me to just tell you what happened to me in the life times I?ve lived? Let me die in peace let me live out my immortal days because they are few. And in a sick turn of events I guess I am turning in to what I?ve been trained to kill. I?m mortal but I?m not. I live and I will eventual die. But with you by my side anything is possible. So tie me up and deprive me of my warmth and lust. Leaving me alone with out your words is worse than any torture. Hold me love, embrace me for this is the last of my immortal breaths. |
| 1:35 am |
starved
It?s been a long time since I can remember it?s been a long time since I want to remember and you expect me to just tell you what happened to me in the life times I?ve lived? Let me die in peace let me live out my immortal days because they are few. And in a sick turn of events I guess I am turning in to what I?ve been trained to kill. I?m mortal but I?m not. I live and I will eventual die. But with you by my side anything is possible. So tie me up and deprive me of my warmth and lust. Leaving me alone with out your words is worse than any torture. Hold me love, embrace me for this is the last of my immortal breaths. |
| 1:27 am |
vampire child
Well I did it I sacrificed my entire human nature to become a creature of the night. In my quest I found that I didn?t need to become a soulless heartless creature. To be a vampire is to nurture your passionate and lustful side and I sure did that. Self control and elegant are also a part of becoming a creature of the night. I?m a vampire in a human world as are we all. Well kiddies it?s been a fun trip and now I?m back and more improved. Life little lesson teach us so much. |
| Friday, September 28th, 2001 |
| 11:32 am |
Itchy
I'm itchy all over and i cant stop. this morning i woke up with a tummy acke and i thought we got into ?germ warfare? weal i was asleep i thought i was going to die. i think that i should get a gas mask just encase because i want to see what the world looked like after it?s ended. i had this dream that the world ended. this girl i know who o?s to my school in my dream she won a contest and got to married destines child, i was watching the wedding and then they pulled me up and said you?ll be marring Jonathan Davis form KORN! i was so excited but he was so shy. we got married. and i guess i was talking with all of my friends and ingoing him and he started crying i was like ?friends this is Scott...>! oh shit i mean Alex i mean JON!? and he was so upset. He told me that i don?t love hi mind i was a bad wife then i told him i HAVE to love him i can?t not it?s my job then he got more upset and hugged me. then we went on a space ship and he was freaking and i had to rub his forehead to calm him down. we landed back on earth but the world was all dead and dried up. dead people were laying all around me and i was looking up at the sky and a teacher put her head out the window and her head fell off.... and then their was a pig a talking pig and a non talking pig and we ate the talking pig... than i woke up.... |
| Thursday, September 20th, 2001 |
| 10:18 am |
is it crazy to love some one you don?t know? love..? it?s a powerful word I think that if I use it it has a major purpose. I think that if I have enough strength to say I love you to a person that it much be true..? right? I?m in love. love with lot?s of things I fell in love with the night, I fell in love with the sea I fell in love with the stars and the moon and even the sun the bright life giving beautiful sun. I can?t help but to love my friends and I cant help but to love my family. and I feel stupid because I fell in love with some buddy else. I met this person on the computer. and I fell in love with his charm. I fell in love with the way he types and the words he uses and the way he makes me feel special. then I fell in love with his beauty and fell in love with his voice. the only think I can?t fall in love with is his touch. but is it not better to fall for personality then looks first. I fell for his knowledge and mind. his ability to not spell when he?s drunk and the poems he writes me. and I fell for the secrets he can tell me and I die every time can?t hold him when he tells me he?s sad I?ll do any thing in my power to be with him.. am I crazy? should I stop loving him... should I stop crying every night because I miss him...... love...? is It crazy to fall for some one who is like an elusive spirit who passes passion to your live some one who makes you feel beautiful when you know your not.. and it?s good for him. to know some one love?s him every moment of the day. I don?t think he knows he?s made such a big deal in my life... but he has. when I get pushed in the halls or I get called ugly or get made fun of in so many different ways he?s their. not physically but in my mind, Current Mood:  naughty |
| Monday, September 17th, 2001 |
| 2:47 pm |
THE MINUTE OF DECAY
there's not much left to love tootired today to hate I feel the empty I feel the minute of decay I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me I'm on my way down I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me I'm on my way down the minute that it's born it begins to die I'd love to just give in, I'd love to live this lie I've been to black and back I've whited out my name a lack of pain, a lack of hope, a lack of anything to say there is no cure for what is killing me I'm on my way down I've looked ahead and saw a world that's dead I guess that I am too (chorus) I'm on my way down now, I'd like to take you with me... |
| 2:20 pm |
I miss you Nigel
I haven?t seen you in weeks. I?m lonely and going to cry L I need to get my computer running again. Can we go spend a day together soon? Well hugs and kisses to you just because I miss you a lot. Love always Pix-e Current Mood:  devious |
| Friday, September 14th, 2001 |
| 2:43 pm |
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| 2:42 pm |
Christmas is coming!
I love Christmas I get so happy and generous NIGEL! MKIEE ! NEM NEM I?m going to get you ALL fat fat FAT I?m going to make So many cookies you all going to puke. And I have so many Christmas presents to get! I?m excited for x mass. ! Current Mood: devious |
| 2:37 pm |
loving act
Something wonderful happened! I?m sick and I?m getting sicker and I?m two weak to get up some of the time! And I was sitting on the floor weighting for my teacher to come open the door and I was having problems getting off my bum. A boy walked bye and held out his hand and asked, ?Need some help?? I thought that was so nice of him to help me when every one else just passed me! That act won?t be forgotten. Current Mood: devious |
| 2:29 pm |
See?! Don?t you see? It?s happened again once again! The innocent people the good people. They die. And the other 1000000 of us sick fuckes go on to corrupt yet another generation. Some times I think ?god? wants us to suffer endlessly tell the final decent to hell. Most days I try not to show mercy for the week nor shed tears for the fake tears, salty wet emotions, human emotions, weak emotions. I am two numb I can?t cote my self in store bought personalities I am dead not physically not eternally but hartlessly, yes I?m hartlessly dead. I?m just one more body to add to the pile of mistakes. I am flesh and blood I can die I can love. But I choose to save my emotions for my self. Most creations turn on their creators how am I two turn on an invisible being? Should I trash and kick at empty air or yell and scream at the deco lit space in front of me? Or should I sit and stair mindlessly at the T.V? and watch him kill his beautiful and sweet children. yes? Yes it?s happened once again my friend, all the innocent people the good people they die. Current Mood: devious |
| Tuesday, September 11th, 2001 |
| 10:57 am |
My "boyfriend" might be dead.......
he lives one h from L.A would somthing of happend to him....? is he dead is he o.k scaired i can't talk to him i frightand. i miss him he lives so far away from me i can't help him and i do't want to be thair ither..... they evacuwated L.A whail i wan in class and hurd it in the hall that's a way to hear it i guess he's o.k and i'm over reacting like always but still i'm wirried and sad i wish every one happyness and peace blessed be to them! |
| Sunday, September 9th, 2001 |
| 4:07 am |
Nigel
i made you somthing it's kinda artsey i hope you;ll liek it it's for your room i'll see you soon and gie it to yoU! Current Mood:  calm |
| 4:00 am |
One fucked up dream
ALright i had this dream that i was at the buss station but it was more like a forest ad i saw my friends (mike goth mike) and a guy who runs gateway (chris) chris was waring BIG BIG BLACK wings witch wer lined with chains ! well i went to max's home and he gave me lots of toys from the PNE then i went to egypt and saw a mother who was covers with gold stuff she had a baby and it was baby Jesus !!! the 2nd comming of him!!!!!!!!! he was new born and had a beard well then i went to a fancy apparntment and i was a vampyre ! and i was taking a bath..!!! and the boy that i like walked IN ON ME!!!!! and then he got in the bath with me!!!!! and all i can rember is laying on him and kissing his tummy ! then going down on him.... and biting him! then all the other vampyres were making faces and giggling at me! (you al lknow who that guy was,,,) messed up dream kind of erotic tho! Current Mood: horny |
| 3:54 am |
gurrr NIGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHH
that thing about captin hook scaired the FUCK out of meeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't bleave you (shivers) i'm your tinker bell what am i supost to do...? i CAN'T grow up!! and i can't find a nother peter pan!!!!!!!!!!!! i need you peter !!! don't give up on your self don't give up on me !! Nigelly pan! tinker PIXs needs you!!!! YOU can't grow up who's going to save our never lad from hook!!!???? huh??!!?!?!?! who's going to play with the lost boys never land will die with out you peter i'll die with out you!!! Love always your little tinker pix-e ! (the evil GOTHIC pix-e Dis CoRd) muahahahahah !!! Current Mood:  confused |
| 3:47 am |
to any buddy who wants to know
i'm going to have a brake from EVERY one ! (well mostly every one) untell the 21st of thiss month i'm going in to my coocon (so to speak) i'm replenishing my innner and outter self. i'm going in to this change a dumb, ulgy catapiller and comming out an inntellagent beautful butterfly wish me luck and you know my # if you miss me to much i need this more then you know and i love you all (you know who i'm talking aobut! i'll update my journal like many once a day (at school) i love you all thank for you love goodbye, sencrealy yours little pix-e DiS CoRd (Lyndzie) |
| Friday, September 7th, 2001 |
| 2:28 pm |
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| 2:21 pm |
I?m at school I forgot how hard it is to cope with all the ignorant people. So I?m just going to live in the computer lab and Wright poetry and such. I have friends here but I feel like I?m embarrassing them by being around them so I?ll just stay away I have many friends that I love and care for out side of school. As long as I have them nothing matters (wink to you) And way?s I?m sad. I hate school (and not in that I don?t like to work way) in the I can?t handle it any more but I LOVE getting called a freak it makes me proud way !!!!!!! Life can be good if I make it good And I?m going to make it good I?m happy now for the first time in months I?m ACTULY happy! But I?m depressed and sad at the same time Fuck PMS I hate it!!!!!!!!! Current Mood:  bitchy |
| 2:13 pm |
......?
Broken glass, Twisting pain It?s the end And nothings to blame Eyes of Cole So black as night I?ve lost my soul It?s out of sight So now I leave you My sickened dear So now I love you And leave you in fear Current Mood: lovless |
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dis_cord's journal